Puzzled

Last week I felt confident and happy, ready to get out into the world and kick some tush. But somehow, over the weekend, I fell with a crash, and now I am struggling to get back into that space.

 

You know what that means, don't you? I also fell off my diet with a crash. Well, not as badly as I might have, but I did eat pizza. Twice. And overindulge in protein and underindulge in fruits and veggies. And I haven't been able to convince myself to go out and exercise. And I'm not sleeping very well, either. And get this - I don't even feel like eating at all most of the time.

 

The thing that has me puzzled is, I don't know why. Is it the job-hunt and its appellate fear of being unemployed and broke? But I've been asked to come in for an interview, which should surely have lifted my spirits. I wonder if it is something physical. I remember becoming very depressed from eating wheat, back when I had a wheat intolerance. I thought the intolerance was gone, but it will do me no harm to try cutting it out of my diet for a few days. I did have a very strong intolerance reaction to one pizza and I don't know to what, and I'm sure that didn't help matters.

 

I've spent the past few years slowly coming closer and closer to happiness, taking the steps necessary to feel relaxed and content in my life. I recognize the difference between "I want to fix this" and "I'm depressed and can't be bothered." I am presently in the second state. But I refuse to stay in it!

 

And being overweight makes me feel depressed too. So even though I would rather eat whatever comes to hand when hunger forces me to shove something down to shut my body up, I will do my best to persevere with my diet. Quite apart from anything else I am sure I need the vitamins! Gotta get those B vitamins in to help lift my mood.

 

I knew I indulged in stress eating and comfort eating before. Now I think I must add a third category, that of depressed eating. Do other people eat that way too? Somebody out there must. I can't be the only one on the planet.